I Thought You Knew...: Confessions of a Chronic Assumer (and How You Can Stop Guessing Your Way Through Important Interactions) | Publish Your Purpose
I Thought You Knew...

I Thought You Knew...

We make assumptions about other people all the time, in every type of relationship. We’re often quick to rush to judgment and assume we know others’ viewpoints and expectations, what motivates them, and what upsets them. We may have no ill intentions but without taking the time to ask, reflect, and really listen, we can be totally off the mark. Besides damaging our own credibility, our assumptions about others can erode trust and wreak havoc in our public and private lives.

Ellen Patnaude, a communication coach with more than two decades of experience, reveals her insights about how and why we project our own fears and beliefs on others. Sometimes we’re simply convinced we’re right, or we’re afraid to lose face by asking questions. She bravely shares the mistakes she’s made in her own career and offers practical suggestions on how to assess and recognize when we’re making assumptions about other people – whether they’re our colleagues, friends, or family members.

When we realize we’re operating with assumptions, we can consciously choose to step back and test them out. This book gives simple, clear ideas on how to have the hard conversations that lead to clarity and greater trust. We all have the power to improve our relationships and find common ground when we’re willing to seek understanding of other people’s perspectives.

Ellen Patnaude has always been fascinated by how a person’s nature and nurture combined causes them to interact with the people around them. She has built an internationally recognized company supporting individuals and teams in getting better at everyday important interactions. Ellen is a credentialed PCC-level Executive Coach and certified in multiple assessment tools.

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Ellen E. Patnaude

About Ellen E. Patnaude

Ellen Patnaude has always been fascinated by how a person’s nature and nurture combined causes them to interact with the people around them. She is a Detroit native, and graduated from Alma College with a BA in Biology & French. She thought she wanted to be Jacque Cousteau, but her first few science-based jobs pointed clearly towards working with people. She worked for several years as a community organizer in Indiana and Ohio. Returning to Michigan in 2005, her reputation followed her for challenging people to see and be a better version of themselves, and the phone started ringing. Since then, Ellen has built an internationally recognized company supporting individuals and teams in becoming everyone’s favorite leaders.

Ellen is a credentialed PCC-level Executive Coach (from the International Coach Federation (ICF), and certified in multiple assessment tools, including the AcuMax Index®, MRG’s Leadership Effectiveness Analysis LEA360® and Leadership Culture® assessments, Genos International’s Emotional Intelligence toolkit, and Equine-Guided Learning practices from Innovative Horizons.

Ellen lives in mid-Michigan with her wife, Dani, at least one and as many as three teenagers at any given time, three cats, and a dog with way too much energy.

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What People Are Saying

What People Are Saying

It may sound like an unusual compliment for a business book, but this is a beautiful, insightful piece of work. I typically speed through the “stories” in business books to get to the meat of the point. But in this book the stories grabbed my attention and didn’t let go. Ellen bravely and powerfully shares lessons she learned the hard way. Then she tops it off with solid advice for improving your communication skills and ultimately, business and personal relationships. Be ready with your highlighter and pen to make this a well-worn resource.

—Mary Kutheis, Business Owner + Executive Coach

Everyone needs to read this book! After reading it, I realized how I constantly ‘assume’ things about people and situations, and often incorrectly, in my daily life. Whether it be business or personal, I have learned many valuable and practical ideas and suggestions about how to step back and take the time to see the other person’s perspective. The Introduction of the book hit me square in the face ‘Unmet expectations are almost always the result of assumptions.’

—Karen McBride, Business Owner

In 2022 a book about assumptions acts as a lighthouse to a better perspective on other people and their intentions. Ellen’s vulnerability and insight as the lighthouse keeper guides the reader to a better place. This book is a must read for anyone who works, plays, communicates, or lives with other people … which is you, you need to read this book.

—Eric Hultgren, Director of Brand Strategy + Social Media

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